


Like a clear blue sky

by islasands



Series: Lambski [19]
Category: Adam Lambert (Musician)
Genre: Embedded Video, M/M, Separation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-09
Updated: 2011-12-09
Packaged: 2017-10-27 03:09:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/290992
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/islasands/pseuds/islasands
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sauli has gone to Finland to visit his family. Adam enjoys the deep pleasure of saying goodbye to someone from whom he is in fact inseparable...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Like a clear blue sky

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this fic because I was thinking of Sauli's beautiful blue eyes... You might like to listen while you read.

Blue Eyes

  
Elton John  


  
  


  


[](VID%20DOWNLOAD%20URL%20HERE>my%20vid%20download</a><p>%C2%A0</p>)

Adam looked around the table at the people he loved, who were all busy talking, smiling, laughing as they ate and drank. A feeling of expansiveness suddenly filled his chest and he had to get up, move around, to accommodate its weightlessness. He went outside and wandered down the stairs into a secluded garden. There had been heavy overnight rains but now the sun was out. The garden’s autumn vegetation, already sparse and introspective, looked cleansed as though it had just had a good cry. But the garden seat was dry. Adam sat down and stretched his legs. He gave his face to the sun. He drank in the fragrance of fallen leaves.

_He had taken Sauli’s face in his hands, just as he had done when they first met in Helsinki. “A week,” he said. “One week is all.” Sauli looked at Adam’s mouth, then his eyes. For a moment he couldn’t speak, overwhelmed by the proximity of the face he loved, undone by the way Adam's mobile, sensitive mouth pushed forward with approval, the way his eyes narrowed and his nostrils flared with possessiveness. Adam put his face to Sauli’s. Their lips parted in readiness for a kiss but they did not kiss. Instead, their breaths mingled. Their brows and noses touched. The force of their physical attraction was so palpable, so sensory, it repelled the noise and movement of people around them. They might as well have been standing on the pinnacle of a rock. The rest of the world's inhabitants, unimportant, unremarkable,flew around them like pieces of paper or careening gulls. They were alone in the kind of silence the sound of the sea creates. They were in love and their love was statuesque with the autonomy of their isolated truth. It was as beautiful as ruins, or as spring shoots in the cracks between stones._

_“No goodbye,” Adam said._

“You’re missing him already.” The shock of his mother’s voice made him realize he had fallen asleep. She sat down next to him and patted the hand that was on his knee. Her touch was always so comforting, even when being comforted was not something he needed. In his boyhood he had often exaggerated injuries or fears in order to sun himself top to toe in the kind, uncomplicated warmth of her personality. He leant against her, reliving the memory. “Not yet,” he said.

They talked about his music and the busy schedule that lay ahead. They joked about the album being a glorious flop. They speculated about the seriousness of Adam’s brother’s current relationship. They discussed food preparations for a family dinner. When she stood up to leave Adam caught her dress the way a child might and held the fabric against his cheek. “I love you,” he said.

“The time will fly,” she said. She ruffled his hair and left.

_After Sauli disappeared through the boarding gate Adam went upstairs to the observation deck. He had no way of knowing which plane Sauli was on, but that wasn’t important. He simply wanted to see planes taking off. He stood with his hands in his pockets, oblivious to the stares of people who had recognized him and were whispering loudly, sharing their discovery._

_“I have just delivered the love of my life into the safe-keeping of a tin can that is hurtling through space” he thought. “A giant metal cigar held together with rivets, kept aloft by laws I don’t understand, propelled forward by a substance that can explode as well as burn, and he is sitting there listening to his Ipod, most likely chewing something, leaning his cheek on the window, looking down at the retreating earth, and then at the clouds, and then at the clear blue sky.”_

_The last three words of his thought reminded him of a song. He mentally sang it as he left the building, went to the carpark, located his car and drove away from the airport. “Every emotion there is, has had a song put to it,” he thought as he drove into his driveway. He felt supremely happy._

After everyone had left he made a lukewarm effort to clean up. He had a long shower. He wandered around the empty house with a drink in his hand that he kept forgetting to drink. He went to their bedroom and sat on the bed. He fingered Sauli’s pillow. He lay down and watched the dawning of the evening sky. It reminded him of his mother, feminine, golden, shadowey. He remembered the song and found it on his Ipad. He set it to repeat and closed his eyes. Sauli, he said, without speaking.

_Blue eyes, baby's got blue eyes, like a clear blue sky, watching over me...._

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________


End file.
